Why Wedding Rings Aren’t Necessary

Wedding Day Hands Clasped

Once upon a time, when I was a newly married woman…

My husband and I each had beautiful new rings on the fourth finger of each of our left hands. Oh how I loved those rings!

At the start of our marriage, other than the fine craftsmanship of the design, a main reason why I loved the rings so much was that they showed other people that my husband was taken.

You see, my trust is very compartmentalized. While I trust some things, people, or situations, I definitely do not trust most things, people, or situations. When I do trust, it is surface-level and I am usually already thinking about what I will need to do if that trust is broken.

When we were first married, I had a very hard time trusting pretty much any woman my husband encountered, and to a degree, even my husband himself. I wanted to trust people. I really had no reason to not put my faith in others, but an irrational but very real part of me refused to let go of that paranoia.

Because of this fear, the ring to me became a symbol. Not of our love, but of his unavailability.

Bouquet and wedding rings picture.

Within about a year and a half of being married, my husband lost his ring at work. Not only was I frustrated at the situation of an expensive piece of jewelry going missing, but I was also frustrated that he now did not have an obvious symbol to show all the ‘predatory women’ that he was married. I immediately began searching for a new ring for him- for my sake, not his. By the end of the night, I had many options for him to choose from so we could immediately get a new wedding ring on his finger. But he didn’t want to look at the options that night. Nor the next night, nor the night after that.

So I got angry. Clearly, he wanted to sleep around with other women and it was obvious because he wasn’t in a hurry to find a new wedding ring. Clearly.

After a few weeks of me being upset because of his slowness to shy off the throngs of women who were falling madly in love with him during his ring-less reign, he finally realized that he wasn’t going to find his ring and so he ordered a new one. Problem solved. His women-repellent was activated and my fretting was dulled…

…because of a ring.

Because a ring is the one who decides the goodness and the faithfulness of the man. Because a ring is what determines the attitudes and actions of others around him. Because a ring holds that much power in its simple, lifeless form….

As I have grown personally, I have realized something about this situation. A ring on a finger is not what cultivates or even saves a marriage. Two individuals must make the commitment daily to love and cherish each other. A marriage should not be controlled by other people or things. Instead, it is nurtured through decisions, actions, and reactions of the married individuals. The work that a person puts into lifting his/her partner is what will build a relationship.

Happy couple.

Wedding rings are not about personal pride or claiming ownership. To me, they are a reminder of the work and love that we have willingly poured into helping each other. While a wedding ring may mean something different to others, it should be remembered that the object in and of itself does not hold the commitment of a marriage.

I have since realized just how irrational my thinking was. There is no reason to get worked up over the loss of something that is merely a symbol of love and companionship. Instead, we should strive to build our relationship up in a way that no worldly symbol could possibly begin to explain. This is what should matter the most: the bond between the two individuals, and not the appearance of the bond itself.

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The Human Brain Has a Mind of its Own

The human brain is absolutely phenomenal. It has the ability to improve itself, to defend itself, to hold information, to recall information, and to create. Amidst these capabilities, people have different strengths and weaknesses which may or may not be able to be improved upon. 

I have such a fascination with everything the brain is able to do. In particular, I am so interested in how every one uses their brain to enhance and design their lives. Now, if I’m being totally honest, my brain is not exactly a prestige specimen, but it has at least gotten me this far in life! 

Just recently, Trevor and I went to Wal-Mart to grab a couple items. While we were there, I happened to see a display stand of Powerade drinks that were being displayed as $.88. I don’t really consume sports drinks, but Trevor really enjoys his Powerade so I took one second to simply say, “Look Trevor! Powerade is only $.88!” 

And that was it for that moment. Trevor didn’t really acknowledge that comment (which can be pretty typical- I’ve gotten used to the idea of simply talking out loud without expectations of reciprocation). We just continued rushing on to search for the few items we needed from the back of the store. I didn’t really think anything extra of the comment or the situation at all. As a matter of fact, like so many other moments in my life, the information contained in that moment of brain function disappeared just as quickly as it came. 

Fast forward about 9 hours to Trevor and I getting prepared to watch a show in our room. He was all settled and I was just beginning to lay down. Right as I was doing so, Trevor says to me, “I need $.88.” I looked at him with the quizzical look that he knows so well. (You see, there are two common occurrences: he says something super strange and I am totally confused as to why he said it, and the other, more often occurrence, in which I have absolutely no clue what he said. That may come either because I simply didn’t hear him, or because I heard him, but could not understand whatever it is that he said. I am told on a daily basis that I need to have my hearing checked.)

In this moment, where Trevor stated, “I need $.88,” I wasn’t 100% sure whether this was a moment of me mishearing him or him just saying something that totally didn’t make sense. So, as I said before, I gave him a quizzical look. And then I repeated to him, “You need $.88?” He replied, eagerly, “Ya!” 

Occasionally, the brain capacity of a person unveils itself to showcase it’s abilities. 

Once I had confirmed that I heard him correctly, I took a moment to actually process the meaning of his statement. Approximately three seconds. It took me approximately three seconds to recall a comment I had made hours previously which itself had only taken about two seconds of processing while in that particular moment. To add to it, Trevor had never acknowledged that this comment was made, causing me to believe he had quite possibly never even heard the comment. Therefore, this cluster of information (which was such a small moment) I would have assumed to be filed away deep within the neurons of my brain in the cabinets listed “never to be seen of or heard from again.” 

And yet, here we were, hours later, having a brief few seconds of conversation which revolved around one moment from hours before that had seemingly only been experienced by one of us. 

I can’t possibly explain how the brain works, or why it does what it does. There are many unknowns about this vital organ, even to science. But, what I can tell you is that the brain is a complex organ that can do many marvelous and miraculous things. Including, and not limited to recalling a meaningless few seconds in our lives whenever it decides. 

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3 Need-to-Know Tips about Colorado Weather

If you have ever traveled to or lived in the Midwestern states of the United States, you know how fickle the weather can be. If you have ever traveled to or lived in Colorado, you know how intentional the weather can be. By intentional I mean that the weather intends to screw people over and thus does everything it can to ruin peoples’ lives.

It is not uncommon to get all four seasons in one hour, let alone one day. Snow and chilled temperatures are often followed by sunshine and balmy degrees. Those who have lived in Colorado for a few years know just how to make themselves constantly comfortable. I’ll share with you a few tricks of the seasoned. (Haha, seasoned. So punny.)

1. Wear lots of layers. Literally, layered layers.

When a child, who isn’t growing up in Colorado, is reminded by their mothers to wear lots of layers as they got dressed for school, it probably looks something like a jacket, two sweaters and two sweatpants layers.

When Colorado moms remind their kids to wear layers, you know to wear a pair of shorts, capris, jeans, and thick sweatpants. And that is just the bottom. A tank top, short-sleeve shirt, long-sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, and winter coat are the appropriate attire for the upper body.

We know that in Colorado it is possible, nay, inevitable that at least one layer is taken off every two hours. Each day begins as Antarctica and gradually becomes the Sahara by 3 pm.

2. Weather reports are less trusted than tarot cards.

The question, “What’s the weather (supposed to be) like?” is meant to be rhetorical. We ask it because we think that’s a normal thing to ask. Realistically, the conversation goes like this:

A: “How does tomorrow’s weather look?”

B: “The reports say it should be 70 degrees all day.”

A: “I’m going to bring our snow coats and boots, just in case.”

There is an 85% chance that those snow coats and boots will come in handy. We have an intuition about these kinds of things.

You can definitely get excited about the possibility of good weather, just know that your hopes and dreams may be dashed in an instant.

One day of weather in Colorado – Amy Dixon

3. Always make deposits for an outside and inside venue.

Or at least make sure that the outside venue has an overhead cover and that you brought lots of materials with which to tie things down.

Have we talked about wind yet? No? Okay, let’s just say that if the wind decides to show up, it will choose to act super dramatic about you not inviting it to your event.

Seriously though, we all want to believe that the day will be absolutely beautiful for everything that you are planning, but Colorado weather tends to make its own last-minute plans. Focus on your party being outside, but also create a backup plan.

 

The only real constant about Colorado weather is that it will change.

 

Because I love Colorado so much, here is one last tip:

 

4. Enjoy the stunning beauty that is Colorado at every chance you have.

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