How is Sex?


I have a favorite question. When I was younger I would ask it and now that I’m an adult and married it is asked of me.

“Are you trying to have a baby?”

Sometimes I think it’s a question we think the other person wants us to ask or maybe we want to show interest in that individual. Most of the time, I think it’s more about general curiosity. We actually want to know about the plans of the other person. Humans are so curious, aren’t we?   

This question, in its most simple and basic form, is quite innocent. When people ask it, they aren’t generally thinking about what the question is actually implying.

When the words “Are you trying to have a baby?” leave someone’s lips, what is really being asked is “Are you having sexual relations with someone of the opposite gender and are you doing so unprotected?” In as many or as few words.


The subject of sex is so often taboo. Most people don’t want to know when others are doing it or especially how others are doing it. However, when the interest of a baby comes into view, all of a sudden everyone wants to know. And I mean everyone! I have random conversations at the store, in my church groups, with neighbors who want to know if we’ve ‘started’ yet. I’m sure you’ve experienced the same!

I don’t normally try to hide my life from other people, so if someone asks I will answer as honestly as possible (the level of sass and sarcasm vary depending on the individual and my emotional state. (Read about my miscarriage here.)) Quite frankly, I don’t mind if people ask me. It is just quite comical how people genuinely want to know if others are romping naked and unprotected in the bedroom.

The next time you begin to ask if someone is trying for a baby, remember that what you’re really asking is:

“Are you having sexual intercourse with a person of the opposite sex during specific times of the month without any type of contraception?”


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